I Was Wrong

November 5, 2008

Thanks, America. I’m proud of you.

Yes. Yes, we fucking can.

I’m sure there will be celebration on the day this cocksucker of a human being leaves office — I know I’ll be participating. But let this post be my celebration of new politics in America, something other than the idea of Bush.

I’ll never hear that name — that word — the same way again. Bush. Just think about him for a second. Who he is and where he came from, what he’s done and how he’s done it. It’s amazing and grotesque.

It’s like humanity took its most polished log of fecal matter, something we’ve been working on for 250,000 years, and presented it to the world. The most evil bastards you can imagine got their hands on that chunk of shit first, and that’s not surprising. What is surprising is that we sat around and let it happen. I say we, and I want to separate myself, I really do. But it is we, after all. We did this.

Here is a reminder of who that man was… who he is, who we elected. This one man and the people that congregated around him affected your life profoundly, no matter where you’re from. And this man is an asshole:

And here is a reminder of what he’s done. If he had access to your actual asshole, there would be a global tracking device in it. All in the name of domestic security, our economy, our freedom! Why cut off your nose to spite your face when there are ample veins to slice?

Federal agents may take a traveler’s laptop or other electronic device to an off-site location for an unspecified period of time without any suspicion of wrongdoing, as part of border search policies the Department of Homeland Security recently disclosed.

Also, officials may share copies of the laptop’s contents with other agencies and private entities for language translation, data decryption or other reasons, according to the policies, dated July 16 and issued by two DHS agencies, U.S. Customs and Border Protection and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

“The policies . . . are truly alarming,” said Sen. Russell Feingold (D-Wis.), who is probing the government’s border search practices. He said he intends to introduce legislation soon that would require reasonable suspicion for border searches, as well as prohibit profiling on race, religion or national origin.

DHS officials said that the newly disclosed policies — which apply to anyone entering the country, including U.S. citizens — are reasonable and necessary to prevent terrorism. Officials said such procedures have long been in place but were disclosed last month because of public interest in the matter.

Civil liberties and business travel groups have pressed the government to disclose its procedures as an increasing number of international travelers have reported that their laptops, cellphones and other digital devices have been taken — for months, in at least one case — and their contents examined.

The policies state that officers may “detain” laptops “for a reasonable period of time” to “review and analyze information.” This may take place “absent individualized suspicion.”

The policies cover “any device capable of storing information in digital or analog form,” including hard drives, flash drives, cell phones, iPods, pagers, beepers, and video and audio tapes. They also cover “all papers and other written documentation,” including books, pamphlets and “written materials commonly referred to as ‘pocket trash’ or ‘pocket litter.’ ”

Reasonable measures must be taken to protect business information and attorney-client privileged material, the policies say, but there is no specific mention of the handling of personal data such as medical and financial records.

When a review is completed and no probable cause exists to keep the information, any copies of the data must be destroyed. Copies sent to non-federal entities must be returned to DHS. But the documents specify that there is no limitation on authorities keeping written notes or reports about the materials.

“They’re saying they can rifle through all the information in a traveler’s laptop without having a smidgen of evidence that the traveler is breaking the law,” said Greg Nojeim, senior counsel at the Center for Democracy and Technology. Notably, he said, the policies “don’t establish any criteria for whose computer can be searched.”

Customs Deputy Commissioner Jayson P. Ahern said the efforts “do not infringe on Americans’ privacy.” In a statement submitted to Feingold for a June hearing on the issue, he noted that the executive branch has long had “plenary authority to conduct routine searches and seizures at the border without probable cause or a warrant” to prevent drugs and other contraband from entering the country.

Only the unimaginative could claim that they have nothing to hide from the government.  I love traveling, and if the opportunity presents itself, I suspect that in the future it will be on the top of my list. What I don’t suspect when I re-enter the country is that my laptop, digital camera, and cell phone will be seized and searched, possibly kept indefinitely with my personal data spread through out several government agencies to Joe Fucking America. I’m sure some out there would love to continue to leave their family’s best interests in someone else’s hands; have the government take care of it all, no matter how inept it is. It could get a little cozy after a while!

But this has been eight years of failure. I welcome change, even if it’s within the constraints that America and its politics allow. It would be hard to run a country as great as this into hell, but George sure tried. So it’s time to take that fork out of your skin and throw it back, America. Hopefully you hit the target this time.

God bless the United States of America.

Sounds just like a human mother I know!

I clicked some random link today whilst checking out the news and came across a Discovery article that was pretty cool.

The cuckoo is like the trailer park trash of the bird world. The girl gets knocked up and leaves the baby on another bird’s doorstep, only to turn around and get knocked up again. Screw it, let everyone else take care of them! Watching youngin’s takes up too much time – time that should be used to chainsmoke Camel Reds and buy more hot pants to strut around in.

But really, imagine walking back into the room with some Biter Biscuits only to find that all of your children have been thrown out the window and there’s now an illegitimate child with a nicotine patch in their place screaming “FEED ME! FEEEEED ME!” – albeit with a convincing accent. Terrifying, if I may say so.

Cuckoo Chicks Change Calls to Mimic Host
Stephen Pincock, ABC Science Online

July 22, 2008 — The chicks of a species of Australian cuckoo can adjust their call in order to fool other species into rearing them, despite never having heard the cry, researchers have found.

Like their European counterparts, Australian cuckoos are well known for laying their eggs in the nests of other birds.

Once the chicks hatch, they kick out the host’s other eggs and set about convincing their foster parents to feed them by imitating the calls of the host’s offspring.

But researchers from the Australian National University and the University of Cambridge, report in the latest issue of the journal Evolution, that one species of cuckoo can modify its call depending on which species it has hooked up with.

Females of the Horsfield’s bronze-cuckoo (Chalcites basalis), usually lay their eggs in the nests of fairy-wrens, but will sometimes lay them in the nests of other species including thornbills and robins.

Chicks that hatch in a fairy-wren nest are known to copy that species’ short “cheep cheep” begging call, while chicks that hatch in the nests of thornbills imitate the thornbill’s long, rasping whine.


December 27, 2007

This website has been mostly forgotten about by myself… and so tonight, while sipping some tonic, I decided to read over a couple of old posts. Which lead me to a personality test.

Here are the results from 8 months ago. Not that you’ll care. The jist of it was, “depressed, introverted, neat, needs things to be extremely clean, observer, perfectionist”

My god how things have changed and I’m not sure I know why. In a lot of ways, I just don’t care any more. And some how, things seem worse than before.

Here are my results as of present, not that it’s of interest to anyone but myself:

secretive, reclusive, messy, disorganized, introverted, unassertive, rarely worries, dislikes large parties, does not like to fit in, does not need to control others, solitary, ambivalent about chaos, tough, leisurely, does not respect authority, not aggressive, observer, abstract, impractical, dislikes leadership, daydreamer, bizarre, does not make friends easily, not a perfectionist, suspicious, rarely irritated, strong physical instincts, unsympathetic at times, risk taker, submissive, weird, sarcastic, strange

Global Personality Test Results
Stability (70%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..
Orderliness (36%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion (30%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.
In other words I am a creep. A messy, disgusting, angry creep. And I like it that way, assholes. So get off my nuggets.

Australian comedy

May 10, 2007

It’s about fucking time.

The U.K. has had its Sacha Baron Cohen’s and its Monty Python’s, the U.S. has had its Conan O’Brien’s and Upright Citizens Brigade’s, Canada has had it’s Norm Macdonald’s and its Kids In The Hall — but what have the Aussies had? (Alright — they had Chopper. But what else?)

Right mate, that’s it — they’ve had the funniest show I’ve seen in years: THE CHASERS WAR ON EVERYTHING.

Yep. I am reluctant to say that the one show that offers the best Fox News parody I’ve seen in my lifetime originates from the opposite side o’ the world. What the fuck, America? It may be hard to top Colbert and Stewart, but I think we can do it. We have Saturday Night Live, after all… we have every new Saturday to try out something entirely new. And, yet, still you disappoint.

Well, good on ya my Australian mates. And all that stereotypical shit. Click here to see the rest of their YouTube portfolio. There’s a bunch to watch, and it’s all good.

God damn it, registerfly

April 15, 2007

Cry with me fellow internet geeks; I was looking to transfer over the suckerpunched domain to Registerfly since they’re cheap and effective, and I was mid-transfer when I found out that they had gone tits up and their ICANN accreditation was revoked.

I don’t even know what ICANN means, but it’s something official, and so I assume it means the officiates of the internets have deemed the company not worthy. Why? Because the two owners of Registerfly were apparently gay lovers and now they’re having a gay lover’s spat, and thusly, there was a power grab for Registerfly. I’m not even kidding.

You know, some times it’s hard to make decisions about which company to go with over the net. Who is reliable, who is trustworthy. Everybody’s heard of Amazon. I figured everybody had heard of Registerfly. They seemed to be well regarded when I looked them up on Google. But I forgot one thing. No where in my quest for a quality domain registrar did I consider the “gay lover” factor. Or any type of lover, for that matter. I mean, had anyone thought of it? I suggest Amazon stockholders look into the owners of that company just in case. Perhaps it’s owned by a British pedophile and 12 year old Thai hooker. Who knows! You can’t trust anybody these days.

All I know is that $7.99 of my precious funds are in some sort of internet limbo and it sucks.