Forget iPods, the hot new teenage trend is…

December 19, 2007

Teen pregnancy! Yes, that’s right. Even Britney’s younger sister Jamie Lynn is now pregnant. She’s 16. And according to CNN, teen births are up for the first time in 15 years.

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) — In a troubling reversal, the nation’s teen birth rate rose for the first time in 15 years, surprising government health officials and reviving the bitter debate about abstinence-only sex education.

I called it! Teenage skanks are getting knocked up left and right everywhere, even here in my very own town. That’s nothing entirely new, but when entire groups of friends do it, something isn’t right. It’s like they’re competing. None of them do it on “purpose” of course. Because it’s really hard to remember to take that birth control, especially if it’s on your body in the form of a fucking patch.

It’s sad that these girls are so desperate for approval and that they so desperately want to feel like a “grown up” that they’ll go out of their way to bring helpless new lives into the world. Their own little Cabbage Patch Dolls. All so they can say, “I’m an adult too, mom! Just watch, I’m going to grow something in my uterus! That will show you!”

Like most fads, there’s not much you can do. In this case it’s mostly up to the girls. Men/boys are horny, fact one. Fact two, no man I’ve known wants to wear a condom if he has the safe choice of not using one, and twisted little girls with daddy issues aren’t going to cough up the information that they actually stopped taking their pills or stopped wearing their patch. So there you go.

The only difference about this fad is that it is actually going to affect Earth’s population, which is a scary thought, because Earth should be vomiting us up with chunks of bile as is. 5 babies a second and growing… tick tock, tick tock.

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One Response to “Forget iPods, the hot new teenage trend is…”

  1. drlisab Says:

    Wow, it’s so true..tick tock, tick tock, tick tock!


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