May 31, 2007

I like this recent Myspace update from the one and only “Tom”:

“Tom, photo uploads are slow and I’m seeing red x’s!”

😦 sorry, we’ve had a glitch and photo uploads are taking longer to process than normal. after you upload, there’ll be a longer delay, but the images will show up, so please don’t upload twice.. that just exacerbates the problem.

I’ve decided to write my own letter in outrage.

Dear Tom, I can deal with constant downtimes and outages, slow connections and an utterly poor web design and interface on your website. However, please refrain from using words like “exacerbate” in your news postings. Words such as these only anger and confuse the average myspace user, such as myself. Let me give you an example of how your news posting should look:

“Yo. our photo shits fuct up. we’ll get it fixed soon, don’t u bitch and plz don’t double upload those photos of you and your friends looking like sluts cuz it makes it even slower. later – Tom. ”

That’s how your letters should read. We’re not Facebook here, we’re 17 year old girls, self obsessed men with no t-shirts on displaying multiple tattoos, and pedophiles. Please speak in plain to nearly-retarded English.

Love, ourspace

And may he learn his lesson. 😡

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