Oh, Berlin

May 23, 2007

First, I like how the German police tried to rationalize this guy’s bat shit story:

BERLIN (Reuters) – A naked American tourist raised eyebrows when he went for a walk through a German city and told police he thought this was acceptable behavior in Germany.

“We have been having unusually hot weather here lately but, all the same, we can’t have this,” a spokesman for police in the southern city of Nuremberg said Tuesday. “The man said he thought walking around naked was tolerated in Germany.”

Many Germans enjoy nude sunbathing which is allowed in public parks. The 41-year-old was carrying his clothes in a bag when police stopped him Monday evening after complaints from pedestrians.

The tourist was not under the influence of drugs, said police. They made him get dressed and pay a 200 euro ($269) deposit pending his investigation for indecent behavior.

Very understanding about it all. Because that’s natural. “It’s a little hot out, I think I’ll take off all my clothes and let my balls flop around in the sun.”

Then, later, the police inspect a nine year old girl’s room and deem that yes, indeed, it needs to be cleaned. They return later to evaluate her performance.

BERLIN (Reuters) – A nine-year-old German girl was so upset about having to tidy her room she put up a sign in her window urging passers-by to call police for help.

Pedestrians in the central city of Braunschweig saw the girl crying in the window, holding up a sign up saying “Help! Please call the police!” Next to her sat a small boy. Quickly alerted, officers rushed to the scene to discover the girl had argued with her mother about tidying her room and enlisted her two-year-old brother’s aid to attract attention.

“The room looked like a battlefield,” said a spokesman for local police on Monday. “Officers told the girl to tidy her room. When they came back two hours later to check, it was all cleaned up. And the mother and daughter had made up too.”

Another disaster averted. And we didn’t even need Reagan this time. “Little girl, Clean, up, this, room!”

Finally, there’s a guy arrested for drunk driving a wheelchair. Surprise, he’s German.

BERLIN (Reuters) – A wheelchair-bound German stunned police when they pulled him over for using the road and found he was 10 times over the legal alcohol limit for drivers.

“He was right in the middle of the road,” said a spokesman for police in the northeastern city of Schwerin Tuesday. “The officers couldn’t quite believe it when they saw the results of the breath test. That’s a life-threatening figure.”

The 31-year-old told police he had been out drinking with a friend and was a little over a mile from home when a squad car stopped him as he passed through the village of Ventschow.

Police said that because the man was technically traveling as a pedestrian, he could not be charged with a driving offence.

“It’s not like we can impound his wheelchair,” the spokesman said. “But he is facing some sort of punishment. It’s just not clear yet what exactly that will be.”

It’s always something small, isn’t it? That’s how they get ya. Broken headlight. Failure to use blinker. Wheelchair in the road. And then they see the brillo pad in the back seat. Clearly this man has not seen enough COPS.

One Response to “Oh, Berlin”

  1. Ted Says:

    You are a Reuters reader too huh? I also noticed the unusually large percentage of Germans involved in the “oddly enough” section. I’m not sure if Germans are that much weirder than the rest of the world or if this British news company is racist.

    Here’s another one:

    “BERLIN (Reuters) – A 43-year-old German man was taken to hospital in critical condition after he fell off a second storey balcony during a spitting contest with his 12-year-old son, police said Friday.”

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