Yay heart disease and diarrhea

October 16, 2006

Taco Bell, gotta love ’em. My local restaurant is staffed with douchebag-420LOL-pothead kids who some how manage to screw up every single order, and any given time you pull up to the drive-thru, there’s at least one of them sitting behind the dumpster giving the finger to the man by smoking some KIND BUD, YO! Because it isn’t obvious at all what they’re doing. Crestview is home to an intelligent breed, let me tell ya. But I digress.

Is Taco Bell now advocating the addition of a fourth meal to everyone’s diet, composed specifically of …fuckin’ tacos?! Every once and a while I’ll catch one of their commercials on TV about how, if it’s late, what you need to do is head on over to your local Taco Bell and have another meal. At 12am.

Just what the average American needs; not three, but four deep fried, greasy meals. It’s like they’re competing with Olive Garden to see who can make us the fattest. Everything at Olive Garden is “endless” now. First it was the endless breadsticks, now it’s endless pasta. One small step for man, one painstaking step for the morbidly obese.

I’m one to talk, but … I think 3 meals will do you just fine, and if you’re going to eat, it’s probably best not to do it right before going to bed. But whatever.

Enjoy your fourth run to the bathroom when you’re practically shitting yourself thanks to your monster gordita. Think out side the bun, kids.

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