New Planet Honors Horrible TV Show

August 16, 2006

So apparently, according to some new rule, we are going to have more planet names to remember. Neptune, Mercury, Pluto, Mars, Xena. Wait, what?


When I think of the Milky Way and the universe and the wonderful possibility in that mysterious expanse hanging out there above our heads, I don’t want to think of a sword wielding, militant lesbian clad in leather. I don’t want our new planet to be called Xena. I don’t want its moon to be named Gabrielle. Someone come up with a better name, quickly. I refuse to submit school children around the world to this madness (even though they are bratty young whippersnappers that need to get off of my lawn).

Fuck you, Xena, and a big fuck you to whoever it is out there that decides whether or not a huge spinning rock in space is a planet or not, cause you’re doing a bad job!

Scientists could drop Pluto or add Xena as planet
LOS ANGELES – Our solar system is suffering an identity crisis.

For decades, it has consisted of nine planets, even as scientists debated whether Pluto really belonged. Then the recent discovery of an object larger and farther away than Pluto threatened cosmic chaos.

Should this newly found icy rock known as “2003 UB313” become the 10th planet? Should Pluto be demoted? And what is a planet, anyway?

Ancient cultures regularly revised their answer to the last question and present-day scientists aren’t much better off: There still is no universal definition of “planet.”

That all could soon change, and with it science textbooks.

2 Responses to “New Planet Honors Horrible TV Show”

  1. DBW Says:

    Gimme Xena and you can have Uranus.

  2. Drew Says:

    uyeah, well, i\’d rather think of anus than Xena

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