I’m gonna drink you anyway

February 18, 2006

Tonight, I looked over at my half empty case of beer and noticed in small print on the front: “born on date: xxxx”

Do people actually look at these things? Has anyone ever actually gone shopping for beer, found something they wanted, looked at the expiration date on the package and said to themselves “Oh, no, I can’t buy this. It’s spoiled!” and then continued on down the aisle looking for fresher beer?

Seriously. Anybody?

Which leads me to something else. Wasn’t there a beer…Budweiser or something…that had the “born on” date on the bottom of the bottle caps? If so, how is that helpful? I suppose you’re supposed to drink a beer, note that it tastes like sour ass, and then go to consult the bottle cap to see why. Much like how you would go to eat cereal in the morning.

I cannot begin to explain how pantshittingly angry I get when I pour sour milk into a bowl of delicious Fruity Pebbles and spoil them forever, all because I forgot to check the expiration date. But that’s another old man rant for another day.

4 Responses to “I’m gonna drink you anyway”

  1. Mattof Says:

    I’m kind of surprised that you encounter sour milk that often. I know that I usually drink milk before it has a chance to go bad. However if I know I’m going to be out of town for a few days and the milk is nearing expiration, I’ll toss it in the freezer until I get back. I guess thats one of the luxuries I have with the milk in the plastic bag that goes inside a jug.

    I’ve only encountered sour milk once, it was in my first year of college and I had already taken a drink of it. Then I tasted it and felt a lump in my mouth. I then proceeded to spray the milk everywhere. I didn’t end up puking though.

  2. Drew Says:

    I can’t say I do, really. Cause I can’t remember the last time I ate cereal. I’m just saying, don’t fuck with my Fruity Pebbles.

    And there’s a difference between sour milk a day or two after expiration and fucking curdled milk like you apparently got a gulp of. Good jesus

  3. DBW Says:

    I have never once had sour milk. Im borderline obsessive about my food. Maybe not even borderline. I cant eat off of a plate that has even a speck of something on it, nor can I use anything that has water spots, and so I must wash everything first, even of theyre already clean. And I always check the expiration date on everything, including beer. Beer tastes like crap anyway, and if Im to find one I can stand, it sure as Hell best not be expired.

  4. Drew Says:

    Then my advice would be to not eat at Cracker Barrel any time soon. Or probably any restaurant. As I recall from my employment, if there was still some old food left on the plates that didn’t come off in the dishwasher, the common practice would be to just flick it off.

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