Threat level Red; America attacked by fornicators

September 27, 2005

Is it possible that John Ashcroft emerged from his slimey cocoon of a body some time near the end of his term newly evolved into a latino with an intense hatred of porn? Could this be his metamorphisis?

[NPR : Federal Government Renews Effort to Curb Porn] Call my mind blown. Right wing whacko Alberto Gonzalez (hand picked by one George W Bush) wants to regulate what we watch in the privacy of our own homes. He says porn is obscene and has ordered the FBI to create Porn Squads to nip pornography in the bud. I’m waiting for the day they create a taskforce to ensure that all men sit down to urinate. That will be money well spent, now won’t it? No droplets on the porcelain: Fuhrer Gonzalez demands it. We all know a clean toilet would be much better than, say, preventing terrorism in our country.

I find it so ironic that these same people who so readily take freedoms away are the same who ask that war is waged in the name of freedom. I thought these kind of moral laws were a thing of the past. I thought we had matured as a country since the days of alcohol prohibition, the banning of the feared Devil Juice. Who are these sad bastards that are spinning our wheel of progress backwards? I suppose the real question is, how is some lonely man watching Jenna Jameson diddle her twat going to effect any one else in such a manner that the government is forced to step in? He’s not taking a life here, he is not stealing someone’s posessions, he is cranking one out to a woman who is gladly displaying her vagina like a dinner table centerpiece. These are two consenting people enjoying themselves and it effects no one else, except for these uptight religious pricks who choose to involve themselves in it.

Comedies like American Pie, 40 Year Old Virgin, or The Aristrocrats, where sex and/or vulgarity nearly compose the entire movie seem like prime targets for someone who feels that the public should be protected from itself. It sounds like the next logical step past pornography. And where exactly do you draw the line with “obscenity”? You may keep your freedom of speech until your speech is found distasteful to a handful of ears. Isn’t that what we’re hearing?

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