Waging Jihad on my penis

September 6, 2005

Raise the threat level to Red and update your anti-virus programs at once, for the terrorists are now attacking our libido! While 9/11 did not see my joining of the marines or army, things may have just changed. I, myself, may have to take up arms. These blackguards are officially trying to spread their values like a virus, which could quite possibly keep all of us impotent. This is far more serious than any talk of chemical weapons or subway bombs. I fear that Osama himself might be behind this one. Man your battle stations! Raise the flag! THIS IS WAR!

Koran-Quoting Trojan Blocks Access To Porn Sites

A new Trojan monitors access to porn sites and then displays a quote from the Koran chastising the surfer for his or her sins, a security vendor said Tuesday.

Once it’s installed, Yusufali.a — called “Cager.a” by Trend Micro — watches which sites Windows users visit by examining the browser’s title bar. If the Trojan sees a word in its list — such as “teen,” “xx,” “sex,” or “penis” — it minimizes the window and displays a quote from the Koran.

“Yusufali: Know, therefore, that there is no god but Allah, and ask forgiveness for they fault, and for the men and women who believe: for Allah knows how ye move about and how ye dwell in your homes.”

“This Trojan isn’t trying to steal money or confidential information, but acting as a moral guardian instead, blocking viewing of sites it determines are unsavory,” said Graham Cluley, senior technology consultant for Sophos, in a statement. ” “This may have been written as a joke, or as a serious attempt to clean-up the habits of Internet users.”

Eventually the Koran quote is replaced by a “For Exit Click Here” button. Once the user moves the mouse, however, the box changes to show three buttons — LogOff, ShutDown, and Restart — all of which when clicked log off the current user. The mouse cannot be moved outside the buttons’ box.

That box shows the text “OH! NO i’m in the Cage,” hence the moniker Cager.a by anti-virus vendor Trend Micro.

3 Responses to “Waging Jihad on my penis”

  1. DBW Says:

    I think your penis should be waging Jihad on you. Then, after becoming a martyr, it will go to heaven, collect its 70 virgins, and… ya know… finally get some.

  2. Drew Says:


  3. Stop Jihad Says:

    Yes, this is really annoying actually. I am updating my anti-virus right now. I have also convered that in my blog ==>Mike Moore

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