Just jivin’, just jivin’

August 19, 2005

Was flippin’ around and came across the Carolla show earlier. It was surprisingly good. He managed to point out two things that I think should be discussed further.

1. Dubya is right now, as I type this, on a 30 day vacation. What justification does the man have to take a vacation for 30 consecutive days? There are people out there working their asses off at shitty minimum wage jobs who are trying to support their families, who never get vacation time. Those who are lucky enough to get some time off may get a week or two, not an entire month. Bush takes nearly a year off when you tally up all of his vacation time. 320 fucking days. The man put in charge of the superpower in the world, the strongest country, the man who is supposed to lead us in these very turbulent times, is fishing somewhere in Texas right now. On top of that, his term is only 8 years out of his 59 year lifespan – why the hell does he need nearly a year of that time spent milling around his ranch in Texas? I don’t care if he’s doing phone conferences while he’s there. He shouldn’t have time to bike with Lance Armstrong and run around in his woods like the redneck he is. I’m all for him being out of office… but if it is his job, he could at least be up there trying to fix some of the shit he’s screwed up. While he’s vacationing, people are getting their guts blown out in Iraq.

The president departed Tuesday for his longest stretch yet away from the White House, arriving at his Crawford ranch in the evening for a stretch of clearing brush, visiting with family and friends, and tending to some outside-the-Beltway politics. By historical standards, it is the longest presidential retreat in at least 36 years.

The August getaway is Bush’s 49th trip to his cherished ranch since taking office and the 319th day that Bush has spent, entirely or partially, in Crawford — nearly 20 percent of his presidency to date, according to Mark Knoller, a CBS Radio reporter known for keeping better records of the president’s travel than the White House itself. Weekends and holidays at Camp David or at his parents’ compound in Kennebunkport, Maine, bump up the proportion of Bush’s time away from Washington even further.
Washing Post

2. Twist off beer caps vs. pull off beer caps. I had to agree with Carolla on that one too. Something should be changed about those god damn bottle caps. I wish I knew the official stance on the twist off cap by Europeans. Do they claim that it effects the beer some how? Is it too easy for them? Too American? Why should I need a tool to open a bottle of beer? Why should I be reduced to stumbling around my kitchen half drunk, in the dark, trying to find a bottle opener? I can’t imagine that there’s any difference at all in the freshness of the beer – get rid of those pull off’s already.

10 Responses to “Just jivin’, just jivin’”

  1. Ted Says:

    And guess who’s paying for his private jet when he does this? Yes, thank ol’ W each time %30 of your paycheck gets wheeled over to the beaurocracy.

  2. Matt Says:

    I’d actually prefer to have all beer caps not be twist offs. Sometimes I’ll cut up my hand trying to open the goddamn things because they’re on so goddamn tight.

    Most people, if they have a corkscrew, have a bottle opener. Plus a true drunkard will have one on his keychain anyways.

  3. DBW Says:

    Think on the positive side: The longer hes in Texas being a redneck, the more opportinity there is for him to get shot and die in some form of hunting accident. KILL THE PRESIDENT!

    As for the beer cap thing… not being much of a beer drinker, Im not that familiar with which have twist offs and which dont and alot of the time I try and twist off ones I cant… just like today. I hate beer, and… umm… KILL THE PRESIDENT!

  4. Drew Says:

    Yes, but it’s just as likely that he’ll choke on a party snack while sitting in the fuckin White House.

    I’m now waiting for the flood of FBI.gov hits to my website

    Matt: what if, say, you got fairly drunk and then someone took your set of keys so you couldn’t drive? NO OPENER!

  5. Ted Says:


    Poseidon returns!

    I don’t know why that’s in the “Oddly Enough” section thought. It’s as if they thought the God(dess) of the Sea were some sort of joke. Pshaw…

    Regarding the bottlecaps, just buy canned beer…

    And just to ensure the FBI.gov hits, “PRAISE ALLAH!!!”

  6. Matt Says:

    Then I’d be fucked and would have to use my shirt to open the twist caps. Once I get drunk enough, I can use my hands and not care about the cuts.

    However, a standard bic lighter can be used in place of a bottle opener. I’ve seen tons of bands and waitresses use that technique before.

  7. Drew Says:

    You assholes, this is my site. I’m always right

    or at least semi-right

  8. Michael Says:

    Why can’t your ginger little hands open twist-offs? Good lord.

    As far as Bush is concerned, he’s done many record-breaking things in his tenure as Die Fuhrer. His vacation isn’t much of a surprise to me. I doubt very seriously that he spent much time “clearing brush” as the article states. Something tells me that his hands are just as soft and well moisturized as Matt’s. Brush clearing is not the strong suit of people who nearly die from eating pretzels.

  9. Ted Says:

    Would it be considered a death threat if you sent a package of pretzels to the president?

    I like using the plastic top on a water bottle. If there are no plastic bottles, I use my bare teeth or bloody my hands…anything it takes to get that precious 12 ounces of cool, refreshing delight.

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