“Why?”

July 21, 2005

Sam sent me an e-mail with links to these two stories below. I thought his subject summed it up rather well. “Why?” indeed. I could make a longer rant, but I’ve already done plenty of that [Dawn of the directors who…]. I should clarify that I actually liked the remake of the Dawn of the Dead, but that’s more or less an anomaly. For the most part, remakes are a stupid god damn idea (Ocean’s 11, anyone?). Especially the hugely budgeted Hollywood type. But there’s also the age old “really late sequel,” which is always, and I mean always, a bad idea (uh, Ocean’s 12, anyone?). Well, now they’re setting out to destroy my childhood memories piece by piece, it seems. First its ET and then its The Smurfs. How could you, Drew Barrymore?

The ET thing is just plain going to suck, so I’ll leave that alone, but The Smurfs thing angers me. I’ll watch The Incredibles and laugh, and that’s fine. It’s an original, it’s done well, it’s funny. But why does anyone feel the need to spit on the memory of The Smurfs? First off, they’re doing a remake of the cartoon, which is bad news in general. Now they’re going to do it with CGI. You’re telling me the kids don’t like hand drawn cartoons any more? At all? Micky Mouse, Garfield, MotherFucking Gummy Bears – do these names mean any thing? I really don’t understand the whole obsession with CGI, especially in regular movies. It’s OK to add a touch up here and there to make things look realistic and smooth, but that’s not how it is normally used. Normally, they go overboard and make entire movies or characters with a computer that end up looking like utter crap. Star Wars has a lot of that, for instance. The movie looks like shit and is practically unwatchable. And now it seems that every cartoon has to be revamped, touched up, and made digital for the ADD generation. It seems like it’s not so much as art any more, but a bunch of programmers in a lab somewhere putting stuff on grids. Depressing. You kids are doomed! End old man rant here.

“ET” To Phone Home…Again

Drew Barrymore and director Steven Spielberg are in talks to make a sequel to the 1982 Hollywood classic “ET: The Extraterrestrial” reports WENN.

Barrymore is apparently anxious to resume her role as Gertie Elliot, but only if Spielberg, who directed the first film, agrees to oversee the project. According to reports the sequel will see ET return to a now grown-up Gertie, desperate for help saving his family from extinction.

“Drew has spoken to Steven about it,” a Hollywood insider said. “Although he thought she was joking at first, he’s actually giving it serious thought. Drew thinks the world needs another feelgood movie like ET right now and she’s prepared to work with Steven to make it happen.” darkhorizons.com

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“The Smurfs” Turn CG Animated

Paramount has acquired film rights to vintage cartoon characters “The Smurfs” and is setting up development of a 3-D CGI feature with Nickelodeon Movies reports Variety.

Producers have conceived the project as a trilogy and are aiming to release the first film in 2008 to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the Smurfs. The blue skinned critters originated in 1958 as a Belgian comic strip but hit international fame in the form of a 1981 animated series that ran for a whopping 256 episodes.

The studio has selected Herb Ratner (“Mr. Lucky,” “Clean Break”) to script, whilst the storyline is being kept under wraps. darkhorizons.com

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