Yonder Dennis doth blow

July 8, 2005

And does he blow hard – 150 miles per hour. People are going even crazier over this one than the last. The interstates are closed up in Alabama (which really doesn’t make any sense – when the hurricane gets up there it’s going to be another storm and nothing more) and people are going nutty once again over gas, batteries, and just about anything they can get their hands on down here in Florida.

Myself, I bought a pound of Hershey’s chocolate and an 18 pack of High Life for $10. Not a bad deal. I should be set for the hurricane. I think once again I’ll probably stick around unless I have no other choice. Figure I’ll be just as bored here as anywhere else. Might as well read a book and get drunk in the peace of my own home. That is, unless tornados are spun off of Monsieur Dennis and into Crestview. In that case, I’ll die, full of chocolate and beer. I’m not sure I give a damn either way.


Everything at Wal-Mart was picked over. There’s no gas left at many stations. Most fast food places are closed. Arby’s had two managers working at it. It took 15 minutes to get the food, which sucked. Apparently their excuse for crap service is that a hurricane might hit this area in two days. I like that logic. It means you can do anything you want. In this particular case, they decided to abandon all stores and/or make shitty food. The apocalypse is coming! The sky is falling! But very, very…slowwwwly! So rape and pillage to your delight!

I am now a firm believer that our only hope to stop Dennis and the madness he is causing is to collect more D batteries and stale curly fries. Indeed, there’s no doubt that if he could see what he was actually hitting… he would turn right the fuck around. This is perfect time for a hurricane though, because as I’ve mentioned, my iRiver is completely dead. Which is going to make me want to commit suicide should the power go out, regardless.
We’ll see what happens…


4 Responses to “Yonder Dennis doth blow”

  1. Ted Says:

    Hershey’s chocolate sucks.

  2. Drew Says:

    Is it possible to be picky about chocolate?

  3. Matt Says:

    I think if I knew the hurricane was going to take me out, I’d be saving a 6pack to shotgun right before it happened.

    My list of essential supplies would include 24 molson cold shots, pad thai, a couple of snickers bars and a bottle of jack daniels. I figure I could make it thru anything with that.

  4. Ted Says:


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