Row, row, row your boat

March 15, 2005

Today I woke up at 6:20am because someone opened my door. I went back to sleep and one second — EXACTLY one second later — my alarm went off, telling me it was 6:30am. Apparently I had entered some sort of mysterious space-time warp. That is a bad way to start the day, as far as I’m concerned. I got up and put on my wifebeater & boxers and everything else and then drank the only heineken left in the fridge. To most people, I would imagine that drinking when you first wake up would be considered abnormal, but I am not most people and I have the following quote on my side:

“A glass of Champagne lifts the spirits, sharpens the wits, but a bottle produces the opposite effect.”

Churchill agrees with me and so I fear nothing.

Having ventured through a time warp of sorts and having had a decent beer, I headed off to work. I dealt with all of the usual horseshit and was then cut two and a half hours early because it was “slow.” Fuck you, Cracker Barrel.

I studied for my PAR II test (IF YOUR SAUSAGE IS PINK IT IS BECAUSE OF THE “SPECIAL INGREDIENT”) and walked to Hardee’s where I fucking destroyed a Frisco burger. I sat near a father and son in a booth. The dad had on work clothing, like he was a mechanic, and the kid had on a Marilyn Manson shirt that said “Got Violence?”

The father shouted what I think was “QUACK QUACK QUACK,” randomly, although I’m not sure if those were his exact words. Either he had Tourette’s syndrome or he thought he was very clever. It doesn’t matter. I also got to sit and think about the guy who took my order. A completely normal person except for the fact that he had some sort of disability (I can’t remember the name) which caused him to walk awkwardly. My memory sucks. Either way, most people would classify him as “retarded,” that is, until you look him in the eyes and talk to him. He’s completely normal. More normal than most people, I’m sure. Which made me feel bad and I don’t know why. I’m not that intelligent.

I’ve got my own handicaps, but his are very apparent, and yet he still manages just fine, probably better than myslef…doing a job I could do, but one that I avoid simply because I don’t want to deal with customers. I can’t handle it. In the end I think I acted more retarded than him, because I did my best to treat him like anyone else so as to make him feel comfortable, which was a horrible and idiotic idea and which ended with me repeating myself twice and looking stupid. Sorry, Hardee’s guy.

After that I decided it would be best to walk across the street to the gas station and get “the beers.” And so here I am. I have an excuse for my alcoholism today – it is in celebration of several things.

Most important of all that I’ve been lucky enough to hear Alkaline Trio’s new album “Crimson” and I found a “new” band called The Falcon, which is Alk3 & Lawrence Arms members. Goodness gracious. A friend of mine also just uploaded The Bravery to me, which is decent. Sort of makes me think of a mix between The Stills and Franz Fredinand, but with less “bassy dance shit” and more “electronic dance shit” (I know I am the next Hemingway, fuck you!). Maybe it’ll grow on me, we’ll see.

Crimson isn’t bad. At all. At first I wasn’t sure. It seemed poppier than usual, which seems to be a theme with new Alkaline Trio albums. It’s grown on me though, and with some beers to christen it, it’ll be good. I guess they’ve decided to put “Sadie” on this album too, cause it is on this release and they have apparently added keyboard & violin tunes to to it. It’s one of my favorite songs by Alkaline Trio, I’m just not sure if violins and Casio’s are a good addition. The rest of the stuff is great though… like “Mercy Me” and “Stained In Satin” both have lines sung by Andriano And Skiba, which is cool, cause most songs either just have one singing back up or the entire song is sung by one of them. Good stuff. “Deathbed” and “Prevent This Tragedy,” are also good songs. They’ve both got the good lyrics and harmonizing vocals that Alk3 is known for. Now for May to roll around so I can buy the thing.

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