No one sings the blues like Blind Willie McTell

March 6, 2005

Apparently I’m supposed to update my “blog” regularly. That’s what someone told me. Well then, here’s some personal fucking blogging. As if there isn’t enough personal fucking blogging going on all over the internet. Because everyone’s life is that interesting. We’ll all just keep telling ourselves that…

I’ve been lucky enough to get three days off on this week’s schedule and all three of those days I will try to keep myself from drinking because I told myself I’d stop for a few days. What’s that leave me to do? I’m trying to keep interested in things and that is hard, because lately nothing seems interesting at all. Video games can only be played so much… and books can only be read so long. Music’s a given, but some days it just fades into the background with everything else. Your mind, on the other hand, can keep going all day long, especially when it isn’t slathered with a healthy dose of alcohol. So I flip through channels and click endlessly through the news and hear about countries getting angry at other countries over absurd and meaningless things, stuff which will be inconsequential in another two hundred, three hundred, one thousand fucking years, and I read about people dying and a cat that rode 10 miles on top of its owner’s car and I read about how I am inferior to most other men simply because of the fact that my index finger is nearly the same length as my ring finger, something that will not matter one bit two hundred years from now either, when there’s nothing left of my middle or index fingers. And nothing means anything at all. Strange thing to feel like you are teetering between apathy and collapse, cause you’re not sure what is holding what up.

I’ve been washing dishes and bussing tables even though I am 21 god damn years old and I feel like a loser doing it and I’ve been trying to stop myself from shaking nervously in front of the hordes of people sitting and watching, but I just shake harder. I think maybe I just need that drink I’ve been avoiding.

I’ve been listening to Blind Willie McTell and thinking about how it must have been to be a blind, black kid from Georgia in the 1920’s. I can’t play a 6 string when I’m looking at it, but Blind Willie could play a mean 12 string guitar, that’s for sure. I guess someone like that would know a little something about pain. Like Bob Dylan himself said, “no one sings the blues like Blind Willie Mctell.”

“I got the blues so bad I can feel them in the dark…”

I’ve been thinking about the bright light at the end of the tunnel…a $500 plane ticket to London in May, where I will hopefully proceed to Ireland once again and hopefully drink way too much for my own good, with my friend Ted. I’ll probably live on beer and bread and peanut butter, but I’ll live. Maybe this time I won’t fall into a thorn bush on a dark, narrow road and shit myself. If I do, I’m bringing Ted down with me.


One Response to “No one sings the blues like Blind Willie McTell”

  1. delmierda Says:

    On second thought, don’t update your blog regularly. I don’t give a shit. = )

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