Don’t think about it too hard

December 7, 2003

I liked this story:

A Texas woman was sentenced to 10 years in jail for running over the manager of a McDonald’s with her car because she wanted mayonnaise on her cheeseburger.

“I gave her everything she asked for — mayonnaise, no mustard, onions, everything I could possibly do for this lady. Mayo, mayo, mayo, and it’s still not good enough,” Jenkins told reporters outside the courtroom.

Times like this I find myself asking what’s wrong with society. Mayonnaise on a burger? That’s goddamn insane. But violence and fast food, that’s… well, that’s something special. I’m not sure there’s anything more American than that. All that’s missing is a firearm.

Let’s do it right next time, people. You shame me as fellow countrymen.

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