One of the bad things about the internet

October 31, 2003

…is that it lets you come in contact with all kinds of people from everywhere. That can be good, and that can be bad. In this case, I’m thinking it’s bad.

Someone showed this to me earlier. This is a page where you leave confessions. Think about that one for a second. Internet + confessions = horror. Isn’t this why they made religion, so you can do this quietly in your own home? Beg forgiveness because you secretly outbid your friend for a bicycle fork on eBay, etc etc? Guess not. Anyway, some of my “favorites”:

“In sixth grade, I instigated a fight. Two guys held the kid’s arms, my buddy punched his stomach a few times. All I did was knock the kid’s Baby Ruth out of his hand, and remember him sadly saying “aw my Baby Ruth”. I felt bad. Sorry kid. ”

“I lock myself in my girlfriend’s bathroom, rummage through her laundry basket, and sniff her mother’s underwear. I am sexually attracted to my girlfriend’s mother and have had dreams about her.”

“I`m 39 yo and for the last 17 years I have sex with my sister.
We are both married(not to eachother) but we meet 1-2 some times 3 times a week and do it. ”

“I have slept with hookers. ”

“I was at a party in college where some dude got so drunk that he went into the kitchen and shat in a frying pan and started frying up his own shit. The smell was so bad that literally everyone in the house got sick. They couldn’t get the smell out of there for weeks! That dude was me.”

“I ordered a bunch of parts to build my friend a PC, then I used the parts to upgrade my own system and gave him the older stuff from my machine. ”

“One of my co-workers bid on a bicycle fork on ebay and he really wanted it. I created a fake user ID named “Farmer Dave” and outbid him on the item at the last moment. I didn’t even want the item. Its in a cardboard box underneath my desk. ”

“when i was little i let my best (male) friend touch my balls in exchange for a swiss army knife.”

“A freind of mine asked if he could masturbate with me. I said no, and he dropped out of high school. ”

“I once had sex in a public bathroom in the handicapped stall. right when we were leaving an old guy came in with an oxygen tank on one of those carts, talk about good timing ”

“I’m afraid of heights.”

Thank god, just what we’ve always needed

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