Dawn of the directors who can’t make a new fucking movie

October 17, 2003

What the hell is wrong with hollywood? There’s a Dawn of the Dead remake coming out soon, along with a Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. Dont ask why, cause I don’t know. Since when is it entertaining to watch a movie and see how much it sucks compared to the first one? Sounds like a whole lot of fun. Besides, Dawn of the Dead was awesome because it was made in the 70’s, had a lot of very cheesy moments but still managed to be disgusting. “Look, it’s a shopping center!” tell me again how you’re going to improve on that? You can’t. Both DOTD and TCM were trophies of their time. And only their time. It’s like that brilliant idea to remake Psycho. You can’t sit in front of the tv with popcorn and guess what’s going to happen next. It’s fucking Psycho! Everyone’s seen it!

Sides, if you did this with anything else people would laugh at you. You can’t go copying books, changing a few things here and there and then releasing it as your own. If you did, you’d be a jackass and a plagiarist, not an artist. It seems like some sort of test to see how gullible the public is. But I was pretty sure our idiocy had already been declared when everyone rejoiced at the idea of reality TV, so what is the point? That is, aside from raking in millions of dollars from people silly enough to watch it.

Here’s something for Hollywood to chew on: original ideas. New plots and stories would be good. And heres something for America: stop being so predictable. We know you love shitty movies, but come on. I just want to grab a hold of the entire nation and shake it like one of those ‘caught on tape’ babysitters you see on Oprah. SHAKE THE BABY, SHAKE THE BABY. IT WON’T STOP CRYING!!!

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